Pinup Boys

Posted Nov 29 2008

A number of years ago, before Anita Hill and Clarence Thomas transformed the workplace, some of the guys brought in a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition Calendar. As they were drooling over the various models, I got to thinking about creating a similar calendar, but targeted at women. This is how I believe such a calendar […]

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Working at the Job Fair Blues

Posted Nov 29 2008

I’ve got those steadily depressing, low-down, mind-messingWorking at the job fair blues….. It was in the early 1990’s, when unemployment was hovering around 7.5%, while working for a department store chain headquartered near Cincinnati, that I worked my first job fair. There were supposed to be at least four staffers working our booth, but, for […]

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Who Hears a Horton?

Posted Nov 28 2008

In response to Mr. Horton’s comment on the previous blog entry, I do see/read the comments (and generally respond to them). When you see a second comment has been added to an entry, it’s usually me replying. Not sure that’s how it’s supposed to work, so if there’s a better way, please let me know! […]

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What to Do When You Get Laid Off

Posted Nov 26 2008 in

Surge from your chair like Shamu breaching the surface of the show pool at Sea World and grab the edge of your desk, forcing them to peel your fingers loose. Ask your boss: “Is this because I caught you doing the nasty with that blonde from the mailroom?” Haggle over the severance package. Compare it […]

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Paper Moon

Posted Nov 23 2008

Today we consider the age-old philosophical question: how much toilet paper is enough? On the one hand, we have the conservationists, who believe every sheet beyond the bare minimum constitutes a crime against nature. On the other, the hygienists, who consider that thin ribbon of paper to be all that stands between mankind and germ […]

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With Wild Abandon

Posted Nov 22 2008

It was bound to happen. Last year, Nebraska passed a safe haven law, allowing parents to drop off children at designated hospitals without fear of legal reprisals. It was the last state to do this, but their law had a different twist: there was no limit on the age of the child being left. Now, […]

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Old Joke

Posted Nov 20 2008 in

A 70-year-old, and 80-year-old and a 90-year-old were sitting around at the nursing home discussing their health. The 70-year-old said, “My health is pretty good. In fact, my life would be perfect if I could just take a healthy piss.” The 80-year-old nodded. “My health is pretty good, too. In fact, my life would be […]

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Why Angels Fly

Posted Nov 16 2008

When something tickles my funny bone, it’s all over with me. Ever since I was a child, I’ve been unable to control my hilarity. Starting with rebukes from my uncle, a Baptist deacon, for snickering in church and progressing through reprimands from my high school drama teacher for succumbing to the giggles, I’ve never had […]

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Cannery Row

Posted Nov 15 2008

Just like the people who run turkey farms, my company decided that to turn a profit they needed to chop some heads before Thanksgiving. It turns out I’m one of those heads, and I have to tell you, I may just skip the bird this year, out of sheer fellow-feeling. When I got in to […]

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Washing Machine Mayhem

Posted Nov 12 2008

November 12, 2008 Maytag Customer Service553 Benson RoadBenton Harbor, MI 49022 Dear Sir or Madam: I am writing to let you know of my intent to file suit against your company in regard to product number QAT9719, a Maytag washer, which I purchased in March, 1997. This appliance has been reliable, cleaning an average of […]

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