Auld Lang Syne

Posted Dec 31 2008

I’m sitting here at the corner of Memory Lane and Humiliation Avenue, wondering: Is there no statute of limitations on dumb things you’ve done? The Friday before Christmas I had lunch with a guy from my old high school crowd. He graduated a year ahead of me, and I hadn’t seen him since Commencement, but […]

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A Tale of Two Cities

Posted Dec 29 2008

We arrive at the zoo on Saturday for the big Festival of Lights and I call my step-daughter to arrange a rendezvous. “As soon as we find a bathroom for Kylie,” I say, “we’ll meet you at the Elephant House. Shay tells me where the bathroom is (to the right of the entrance and down […]

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Mistake in Identity

Posted Dec 27 2008

It’s hard to recognize people out of their normal context. The grocery clerk who checks you out every week looks unfamiliar at the library. The nurse from your allergist’s office is unrecognizable at the gym. So it’s understandable how I came to assault a former co-worker at the theater. As most of you know, my […]

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Pre-Christmas Rant

Posted Dec 22 2008

Just a brief, pre-Christmas tirade. My carpet is not toilet paper! As the holiday approaches, things are getting hectic here (as with the rest of you), and I’ve been trying to keep the house reasonably clean so that I don’t have a major sanitizing effort on Christmas Eve, along with cooking/wrapping/etc.But Emmeline and Abigail are […]

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Toy Stories – First Installment

Posted Dec 21 2008

I have a friend who, with her 27-year-old daughter, started a business a few years back selling sex toys. Marketing via the party plan, kind of like Tupperware or Pampered Chef, the company has grown to the point where they now employ five other young women. They do a brisk business in bachelorette parties, but […]

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Underwary – Part 3

Posted Dec 19 2008

(Being the third and final installment in the misadventures of a Baby Boomer in a world without BVD boundaries.) Recently, I’ve been staggered to discover how many otherwise respectable people will chat about their scanties at the drop of a knicker. There are entire stores dedicated to selling lingerie — and not just naughty places, […]

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Old Joke #2

Posted Dec 18 2008 in

A man who lived a very bad life dies and goes to Hell. A demon greets him at the Admissions desk and scans his paperwork. “Based on your resume,” the demon says, “I can offer you two choices of how you’ll spend eternity.” Before the man can ask any questions, the demon sets off down […]

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Feather Phobia

Posted Dec 17 2008

I was just over visiting Dee from Downunder (http://myaussieantics.blogspot.com/). Today’s post is a list of 10 honest things about herself – and very brave and honest they are, too – and one caught my eye. She doesn’t care for birds. I immediately felt a sense of rapport with this lady on the other side of […]

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Guest Post — Peanut Butter Fudge Recipe

Posted Dec 16 2008

Note: I received the following from Hoodchick, who makes the world’s best peanut butter fudge, and since it seemed like a Chronicles kind of recipe, I decided to do a special Tuesday post. Here’s her email: First, I have to rant about this. I use the recipe on the back of the Fluff jar, with […]

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The Chronicles of Cooking

Posted Dec 14 2008

My friend Teri, who’s been a blogophile for a couple of years, recommended (okay, nagged unceasingly until I caved) that I start this blog. You’re funny, she said. You love to write, she said. You even know a couple of things about computers. It’s a perfect fit, she said. Due to her *persistence* I finally […]

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