Saturday Snippet

Posted Jan 31 2009

Guy in a bar: Didn’t I meet you at Woodstock? Me: No, my parents wouldn’t let me go because I was in the eighth grade. (Suggestion: Stay away from pickup lines that reference a woman’s age. Whether it suggests she’s looks older than she is, like this one, or goes too far the other direction […]

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Old Joke #5

Posted Jan 30 2009 in

Three pigs go out to dinner. The server comes to their table and introduces himself. “Hi, I’m Jason. I’ll be your waiter this evening. Can I start you gentlemen off with a beverage?” The first pig says, “I’ll have a rum and Coke.” The second pig says, “I think I’ll have a dirty martini.” And […]

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Thursday Snippet

Posted Jan 29 2009

(In an effort to boost my readership (which is coming along nicely, and I’m an ungrateful wretch for wanting to it to grow even faster), I’ve decided to try an experiment. Since people seem to enjoy my lists, each item of which is just a very brief version of my usual posts, I’m going to […]

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And the Answer Is….

Posted Jan 28 2009

This is a follow-up to yesterday’s spur-of-the-moment post and to some comments/questions I got on my VM tag list. You posted some hilarious suggestions for WTF (below). (If you haven’t perused the comments, I strongly recommend taking a few minutes to do so. They’re way funnier than anything I write.) I was all prepared to […]

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Tuesday Bonus Post

Posted Jan 27 2009

As many of you know, I try to post on Sundays, Wednesday and Fridays, in an attempt to ensure I have a little time to think and edit before I blog. (Sounds like a slogan: Think Before You Blog!). However, someone sent me a bunch of motivational posters via email, and this one fascinated me. […]

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Tagged by Vodka Mom

Posted Jan 25 2009

Vodka Mom tagged me, so here goes: 1) One day, years ago, I was wearing a dress at work and I fell backwards into an empty paper box. My arms and legs were sticking up in the air while my butt was stuck in the box. Instead of helping me out, the guys stood around […]

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Old Joke #4

Posted Jan 23 2009 in

Buddy Hackett told this joke on an HBO special back in the ‘80s. It’s not my favorite joke of all time, but it’s definitely my favorite punch line. An 80-year-old man and a 20-year-old woman fall in love. They want to marry, but the old man fears that he won’t be able to satisfy his […]

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The Bone Chute

Posted Jan 21 2009

The strangest place I ever worked was a mail order company. I’d just gotten divorced, and my primary goal in life was to stop running into my ex-husband and his hussy at the grocery store, and then going home and crying until I vomited, so when a job was offered several states away from Ohio, […]

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Oh Happy Day!

Posted Jan 20 2009

Me shaking hands with the man who will today become our President!

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(Not) My Old Kentucky Home

Posted Jan 20 2009

Since the last post seems to be raising a lot of questions, let me see what I can do to clarify: They were chicken eggs. I don’t know how they got there, but my recollection is that that they weren’t down in a pit, but on some sort of nest on boards at floor level. […]

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