Old Joke #43: Negative People

Posted Jan 30 2011

A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser. “Rome?” said the hairdresser. “I’ve never understood why would anyone want to go to such a crowded, dirty place. How are you getting there?” “We’re taking Continental,” said the woman. […]

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Raisin Rule #1: Finders Keepers

Posted Jan 28 2011

Finders keepers/Losers weepers is only valid until you turn five. After that, it’s stealing. (Written by a woman pissed off that someone found her $10 flash drive in a computer at school and took it–with the latest version of her novel, and all her rewrite notes, not to mention all her homework–on it. And yes, […]

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Driving Miss Raisy

Posted Jan 24 2011

According to s study I read, 65% of people surveyed believe they’re in the top half of the world’s best drivers. This means 15% of people are not only sucky drivers, they’re sucky drivers who think they’re Jimmie Johnson. I don’t have that problem: I know I’m a lousy driver. Okay, lousy might be an […]

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Winning the Cold Medal

Posted Jan 17 2011

Really old (and somewhat disgusting) joke: What’s green and figure skates? Peggy Phelgm. I missed two days of work last week due to the cold I caught from my two-year-old granddaughter, aka Patient Zero. I might have survived contact with this one-child plague zone, but I happened to bring with me her favorite blanket, which […]

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Random Acts of Grouchiness

Posted Jan 9 2011

As I pulled into the gas station Sunday, a rusted, beat-up truck came in from the other direction. For some reason, I expected him to allow me–older, female–to go first, but he wasn’t that kind of guy. After a moment of fuel-station chicken, I eased back and waved him on. I’m not sure why he […]

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What’s My Profession?

Posted Jan 8 2011

I happened to follow this guy into a restaurant parking lot the other night, so I got a chance to snap his license plate. So what do you figure? An x-ray tech? Or a TSA Agent?

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The Keys to Success

Posted Jan 2 2011

When I started my new (and wonderful) job last summer, one of my first stops was the key shop, where I was given keys to the two office doors. I blinked when I read the ID letters on the keys, but decided the configuration of letters must be purely random. Until, back in the office, […]

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New Year’s Eve 2010 by the Numbers

Posted Jan 1 2011

Number of children in attendance: 8 Number of noise-makers available: 8 Number of noise-makers that actually made noise: 5 Number of issues that created: 4006 Percentage of non-potty-trained children invited: 0% Number of wet pants laundered because it’s really hard to remember to head for the bathroom in time when you’ve got cousins to play […]

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