Old Joke #43

Posted Jun 19 2010 in

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave-side service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Kentucky back-country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got […]

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Old Joke #42

Posted May 8 2010 in

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, “You Can Be THE Man Of Your House.” He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law.” “You will prepare me a gourmet meal […]

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Old Joke #41

Posted May 1 2010 in

A bounty hunter rides into town one morning and goes to the Sheriff’s office. “Is there anyone with a price on his head round these parts?” asks the Bounty Hunter. “Well,” says the Sheriff, “there’s a $500 reward, dead or alive, for the Brown Paper Kid.” “The Brown Paper Kid?!” exclaims the Bounty Hunter. “Who […]

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Old Joke #40

Posted Apr 24 2010 in

At the Saturday night tent revival the preacher announces, “Anyone with ‘needs’ to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar.” Leroy gets in line, and when it’s his turn, the preacher asks: “Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?” Leroy replies: “Preacher, I need you to pray […]

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Old Joke #39

Posted Apr 17 2010 in

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time […]

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Old Joke #38

Posted Apr 10 2010 in

Thank Chef E for this one! A Texan is drinking in a Colorado bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. When he hangs up, he orders drinks for everybody in the bar because his wife has just given birth to a baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new […]

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Old Joke #37

Posted Apr 1 2010 in

A man gets sent to prison, and he’s put into a cell with a bunch of lifers who’ve all been there for quite some time. As they’re sitting around in the evening, one of the guys says “Eight,” and the others all burst out laughing. Then another guy says “Fourteen,” and again they’re all laughing. […]

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Old Joke #36

Posted Mar 25 2010 in

This one made me cackle. Loudly. Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, “Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter”. Esther always replied, “I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars”. One year Esther and […]

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Old Joke #34

Posted Mar 15 2010 in

At a sharing session in a kindergarten class, a little boy announced, “My daddy has two penises.” The teacher was taken aback. “Two?” she said before she could stop herself. The little boy nodded vigorously. “He has one he uses to pee.” By now the teacher had recovered. “That’s very nice,” she said, “but we […]

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Old Joke #33

Posted Mar 14 2010 in

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, “He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.” Horrified, Katie tells her grandmother that 2 people who […]

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